ELF IS AN ACRONYM

 

ELF is an acronym

And it has them running amuck

Because it’s Santa’s code

For the Elves he’d like to fuck

THOSE PICTURES OF LILY

 

Her hair was dirty blonde, shoulder length,

Curly loose ringlets cascading down

Her face was Mediterranean, dark, dusky

Eyes black as the night sky in winter,

Brows thick and dark, nose pert, mouth full

Her skin smooth as polished wood,

A figure like a Rodin carving of perfection

Dressed in satin and lace, provocatively

Full breasts hidden within delicate lace

Hips, buttocks, and every feminine curve

Slender legs sheathed in stocking of black silk

Stiletto heels shaping them perfectly

But the perfect vision is not as it seems

For it’s the airbrushed woman of my dreams

BAD SANTA # 1

 

Bad Santa is a bit of a perve

For the girls with a bit of curve

And he thinks that the naughty list

Is really more like his to-do list

SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DAY WEEK

 

On Monday Snow White feels Sneezy

On Tuesday she’s feeling grumpy

By Wednesday she feels Dopey

And On Thursday she’s feeling Bashful

On Friday Snow White feels Happy

And On Saturday she feels Sleepy

But on Sunday when she wants a rest

Then Doc gets inside her vest

Choice Tales from the Vale – (338) Guy Fawkes Night

 

Greg was 6ft tall, wiry build with short brown hair and he was born and raised in the large sprawling village of Dulcet-on-Willow, beside the gentle shallow River Willow, which ran unhurriedly from the Pepperstock Hills to the more vibrant River Brooke.

His parents had retired to a Villa in the Greek Islands and the six bedroom detached house was left jointly to him and his brothers, Colin, four years younger, who lived and worked in Australia, and Alex, two years younger, who had the house to himself the vast majority of the time.

Greg himself only got back to the Village of Willow a handful of times each year, although since he met fellow Willow native Jane Bloomfield when she was a guest at his Hotel he had more reason to get home more often.

He loved Willow and the village was very close to his heart and he always felt at peace when he was home.

The downside was that it was situated in the Finchbottom Vale, which nestled comfortably between the Ancient Dancingdean Forest to the south and the rolling Pepperstock Hills in the north, but however attractive it might have been, it was featureless in many ways and that was a problem for Greg, and that is perhaps why he was drawn  to the scenic Pepperstock Hills National Park.

His love affair with the region began when, as a 12 year old boy, his Scout troop had their Summer Camp at Oxley Ridge.  

Following his first adventurous fortnight he returned to the Park whenever he could and after University he used his degree to get a job working in the Park, and after five years, when he heard the owner of the Black Swan was retiring, he bought him out.

But it was his love affair with Jane that drew him back to Willow in November.

 

Greg arrived in Willow just as it was getting dark and he found the house empty so he quickly showered and changed and went in search of some company.

When he was ready he got in the car and drove from Waterside Road into the Village proper and parked in the High Street, in the space Mr and Mrs Bloomfield were just vacating and walked towards the Bloomfield Pharmacy and he timed it perfectly because as he got close to the shop he saw a familiar figure, 5ft 8, dark hair, slim figure, skinny legs and disproportionally large breasts, it was Jane closing up, she didn’t see him as she had her back to him, so he crept up behind her and said

“Hello gorgeous”

“Oh Greg” she said flustered, “What are you doing here?”

But before he had chance to answer she launched herself into his arms and kissed him.

The reason she was surprised to see him was because he wasn’t due back to Willow until the end of the month, the reason he was earlier was due to his having had a meeting in Sharpinghead that was cancelled at the last minute.

But by the urgency of her kissing he deduced that she wasn’t interested in the reason.

Jane stopped kissing him and said

“Mum and Dad have gone to see the fireworks in Mornington”

“I saw them leaving as I pulled up” he explained

“And I’m just closing up” she continued

“I’ll give you a hand” he offered

“Thanks Greg” she said smiling coyly

There were only a couple of signs to go inside and when they were inside, he asked

“Is that everything?”

“Not quite” she said and pulled him forcefully inside and closed the door

“There’s no one at home” he informed her,

“There’s no one here either” she said and led him behind the counter and through the bead curtain to the inner sanctum, which consisted of an office come sitting room, with a desk and chair on one side, and two armchairs and a coffee table on the other, and she immediately turned to face him and kissed him.

The moment their lips touched she locked onto his mouth like a limpet and her arms gripped him around the neck like a bear trap, it was a warm liquid kiss with hot tongues of passion.

 

His hands caressed up and down her skinny frame repeatedly searching the landscape before both hands ended up on her tight little buttocks, then he maneuvered her towards one of the armchairs and as he sat down he pulled her down with him,

Because she was so tall her head was above his, kissing down into his mouth, her tongue like a striking serpent in and out of it, lips still locked limpet like on his, nostrils snorting in air.

Greg had one arm around her shoulder and the opposite hand on her waist which he slid slowly up to her breast; she drew in a sharp sighing breath through her nose as he fondled her tittie through the fabric of her clothes and the bra beneath, it was unusual for her to wear a bra when he was around, and the moment his palm cupped her plump fruit their mouths disengaged briefly and she gave him a leery smile before locking onto him again.

His hand left her breast and went slowly down to her thigh and knowing what was coming she wrapped her arms tightly around him and buried her face in his neck and her body stiffened as his hand progressed along the inside of her thigh, with only the 70 denier fabric of her black tights between him and the silky skin of her inner thigh he knew so well, but he loved the feel of the fabric against his palm  which felt warm and welcoming in its density.

As his hand crept ever-higher Jane’s skinny thighs opened and closed in anticipation and she moaned quietly as her buttocks squirmed on his lap, her breaths becoming deep and erratic.

When he reached Shangri-La he could feel the heat from her pussy and her breath was rasping coarsely in his ear, becoming coarser still

as he reached the heart of her fire, fingering her though the gusset of her tights, the fabric slipping and sliding on her wet gash until her cream began to ooze through the fabric, and she moaned loudly.

Suddenly Jane leapt up and reached her hand up under her skirt and pulled her tights and knickers down to the top of her boots, then she plopped back down on his lap again, Jane looked at him, smiled coyly and kissed him before nuzzling his neck again.

He moved his hand to her naked knee and her body stiffened as his hand progressed up her leg until it reached the top of her thigh and she squirmed on his lap and murmured as his fingers reached the coarse hair of her Minge.

Jane moaned softly as they explored her bush and when his digits descended into to the abyss of her creamy cunny she let out a hoary growl as he fingered her hot syrupy slit and stimulated her clit. “Ohhhhhh” she exclaimed, at the pleasure of his touch and grabbed a cushion to bury her face in to stifle any further exclamations, of which there would be many so he stopped stroking her gorgeous wet pussy and took the cushion from her and discarded it and she looked startled

“I want to hear every sound you make Jane” he said and kissed her

“Every moan and murmur”

Jane looked at him and smiled as he resumed stroking her juicy cunny, and looked at her face, delighting at every moan and grunt she made as each stoke of her clit brought her closer and closer to orgasm, until finally she screamed out as she came beneath his touch, so loud that even the cushion wouldn’t have suppressed it,

Her thigh’s closed on his hand at the point of climax, trapping his hand, but his fingers were still between her lips and he stroked her clit again and again and her thighs opened and closed on his hand,  then she screamed again and kissed him on the mouth, and then  stood up and took his hand and almost dragged him towards the stairs.

Greg paused briefly as she reached the bottom of the stairs

“Are you sure?” he asked knowing the answer, “we can go back to mine”

“Yes, yes, yes” she said through gritted teeth and began pulling him to the stairs “Can’t wait, can’t wait”

The problem was with her tights and knickers sitting on top of her black boots, she found it difficult to negotiate the stairs, so he picked her up in a fireman’s lift and carried her up the stairs.

Once at the top he continued on to her bedroom, which was incredibly untidy, with discarded clothes and underwear scattered around, so he added to the mess and dropped her on the bed, where he disposed of the boots, tights and knickers, before pulling her to her feet.

At that moment Jane's small hands reached up to unfasten the catch on her bra and his hands reached up inside her sweater to replace the lacy cups and as his hands groped her magnificent unfettered breasts and played with her hardening nipples he kissed her neck, while she rubbed the lump in his trousers with her small hands, so he  started undoing his belt and Jane stepped back and stood licking her lips as she watched.

“Everything off” he told her and she complied immediately without a second thought and no hint of hesitation and then she resumed her libidinous sentry duty.

He let his trousers drop to the ground and then pulled his pants down to expose hid huge swollen cock and she stared at it with her saucer eyes as she sat down on the bed and he pulled on his shaft to expose his purple helmet they almost popped out of her head.

“I’ve missed you” Jane said

“I’ve missed you too” he responded

“I was talking to your cock” she said and chuckled

He quickly removed the rest of his clothes and she eyed him up and down appraising what she was about to receive.

“Are you ready?” he asked, and she just nodded wide-eyed and open mouthed

So he leant down and slipped his tongue into her mouth and as they kissed he picked her up and threw her gently onto the middle of the bed and before she’d finished bouncing he was there between her skinny legs and pausing for just a second to push her skinny thighs further apart his cock was inside her, and she was blissfully welcoming as he thrust into her wetness up to his balls.

Jane was loving every stroke and she made no attempt to stifle or muffle the grateful moans and screams as Greg raised his torso up so he could look at her gorgeous body writhing beneath him.

Her head thrashed from side to side, but this did not distract him from staring at her taught body and gorgeous tits and she wriggled and writhed.

While he watched her she watched him and when he raised himself up higher so he could look down across her belly at her black bush, she lifted her head off the pillow to watch his cock repeatedly penetrating her tight pussy, then she looked at him and smiled so he mercilessly pumped on her faster and faster until he couldn’t tell when one moan ended and the next began until she let out one almighty scream as she came hard and then two more stokes and he release his hot load into her.

 

As he was dressing Greg watched as she redressed her lovely body in her white robe, and the fullness of her titties were hard to disguise.

“When are you going back to Springwater?” she asked

“Tomorrow morning” he replied “after we’ve had breakfast”

When they were back downstairs in the shop they had an affectionate farewell kiss and he had another good grope of her tits.

“Stop it” Jane said and gave him a playful slap and added “later”

They kissed once more before he opened the door and she gave his sleeping beast a gentle squeeze and said

“I want dinner with that” she instructed, and he headed towards his car and he had only gone about fifty yards when her parents pulled into an empty parking space close to the shop.

“That was close,” he said to himself

An hour later Jane arrived at Greg’s house where she was treated to a Chinese takeaway and another portion of his cock.

SNOW NOTSO-WHITE AND THE SEVEN DIRTY DWARFS

 

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho

It's home from work we go

We all have ways to relax at night

Cokey snorts some Snow White

Creepy likes flashing in the park

Sleezy self abuses in the dark

Gropey likes trains in rush hour

Humpy pays for girls by the hour

Lustful hangs around at the docks

And Prof comes home with the pox

Choice Tales from the Vale – (037) Sleeping Arrangements

 

The Osborn’s and the Sherlock’s had lived in Childean for many generations and every year they had a family holiday together in Spain.

Peter and Kate Osborn and their sons Brian and Mark, Kate’s sister Christine Sherlock and husband David and their daughters Karen and Julie, and they stayed in the Villa that was jointly owned by the two families every year in Moraira, just along the coast from Benidorm.

 

Mark Osborn was a twenty nine year old solicitor who still lived in the old family home in Childean although, his parents having retired to their Spanish Villa and his brother Brian was working for a magazine in New York.

 

On Boxing Day Mark and his girlfriend were invited to his uncle and aunts house on the other side of Childean for the day, but due to a mix up between Glenda and Mark as to who the designated driver was, they both got a little pissed and had to stay the night.

This caused a bit of a reshuffle on the accommodation front due to his Aunts insistence that the couple sleep in separate rooms.

Not just because his Aunt was a good Christian woman but mainly because she knew of his reputation as a womanizer and she was not prepared to allow him to disgrace himself and degrade a young woman under her roof.

God only knew what she would have done if she’d known he had degraded both of her daughters already.

On one family holiday in Spain, Mark, who was a few weeks short of his nineteenth birthday at the time made love to his her oldest daughter Karen who was just sixteen for the first of many occasion.

And her youngest daughter Julie seduced him in his own bedroom when she was 22.

So the result of the segregation meant Glenda shared the spare room with his cousin and fuck buddy Karen while he was forced to endure their enforced separation on the lounge sofa.

He found it difficult to drop off, partly because it wasn’t very comfortable but mainly because his head was full of images of his girlfriend sharing a bed with his fuck buddy cousin who had also on a number of occasions experimented with her sexuality enough times to be considered bi-sexual, and obviously this had given him a major hard on.

After tossing and turning for about an hour his erection had begun to abate but that urge was merely replaced by an acute need to pee.

Mark tiptoed his way upstairs to the loo and relieved himself.

He was yawning as he stepped back onto the landing and was not really paying attention and so he bumped into Karen coming the other way.

There was an instance of recognition and then she pushed him back into the bathroom and planted a wet sensual kiss on his lips, and this immediately relit the fire in his loins and as his cock was pressing into her flesh he made a move to grope her tits but Karen pushed him away.

“We can’t be doing that,” she said indignantly

“I’m on the blob anyway,” she continued as she pulled down her knickers and sat on the loo.

Karen then proceeded to pee; and this did nothing to diminish his erection as he always found it inexplicably arousing.

Karen obviously noticed his cock twitch in his pants because after she wiped herself dry she slipped her fingers inside the waistband and pulled him closer.

Once she had him standing in front of her Karen began pulling his pants down and she licked her lips as his cock uncurled itself from its confinement.

Karen then reached out and grabbed hold of it and kissed his helmet.

For the first time she took her eyes off his cock and looked him in the face as she played with him and said.

“This is for Christmas”
Mark closed his eyes as she gently tugged on him and he felt delicate soft kisses on his sensitive knob.

“This was a real Christmas surprise,” he thought as her tongue flicked around his helmet in quick feather light licks until all at once, in one smooth slurping instant he was in her mouth, he could feel Karen’s fingers still caressing his shaft lightly and he looked down just as his glistening wet knob reappeared accompanied by a sucking sound, she looked up and smiled wickedly before devouring him again with her hot mouth.

He could see the bulge of his cock in her cheek as she sucked on him and her fingers tightened their grip on his shaft as her lips slurped around his cock.

“Oh that’s so nice Kaz,” he gasped

 “It’s a shame she’s on the blob,” he thought as he was fast approaching the point of no return but he could tell by the lip smacking and slurping that she had already decided what she wanted to do.

He had one hand on the back of her head; fingers threaded amongst her hair while the other caressed her bulging cheek.

Her fingers were gripped tight around the base of his shaft and she was tugging on him furiously.

Then Karen took one final pause for air before his saliva soaked cock slipped comfortably between her lips again and her mouth sealed tight around his throbbing cock.

Snorting through her nose, her mouth joined her busy fingers in the rhythmic wanking of his cock.

He was so close now and Karen could sense it and she was going at him like fury,

So close, so close

“Oh Karen”

His buttocks clenched tight

Closer, closer

“Babe, Babe”

And then his hands were pulling her head onto him as he shot his load into her mouth and her eager lips sucked him dry.

Karen was still sucking and licking at the last of his seed before her lips smacked one last time as she released his shaft.

“Merry Christmas” She said

“And a Happy New Year” he responded as she gave his helmet one final licking suck.

A moment before they left the bathroom Karen asked

“If I wasn’t on the rag would you have fucked me with the gorgeous Glenda just down the hall?”

He answered her question with another question

“If you weren’t on the rag would you have tried giving Glenda head and wishing her a Happy Christmas”?