A sorry old drunk is walking
Down the street
one morning
Together
with Santa Claus
The tooth
fairy and of course
Honest John
the Solicitor
When
suddenly on their tour
At the very
same moment
They spot
on the pavement
Someone’s
discarded wallet
So who was
it who got it?
The old
drunk obviously
Because all
of the other three
Only exist
in mythology
On a Christmas Eve at midnight
When I got
into bed
I lay upon
my pillow
And there
beside my head
Was Santa
with his trousers off
And this is
what he said
Happy
Christmas little girl
I’ve
unwrapped this gift for you
So take
this gift with pleasure
To make
your wish come true
Because
Santa comes but once a year
And tonight
he comes with you
The next time you complain
At the lack
of Christmas nookey
Spare a
thought for old St Nick
And have a
little sympathy
For he only
comes but once a year
And then
he’s up a chimney
What do a Christmas tree
And a priest have in comparison?
The answer is simple to see
Their balls are just for decoration
It was the day after St Andrews day, and the morning following the
celebration Dinner Dance at the Worsted Viper Hotel in Purplemere, and it was
in a room at the Hotel where Jane Bloomfield was in bed with her boyfriend Greg
Monroe.
They were
sleeping late as they had partied late but Jane still woke about 7 am and spent
the
following hour drifting in and out of sleep before she got up to go to the
toilet.
The moment she sat down there
was a sharp release of early morning wind, then she removed her tampon, and
when she realized her period was finished, she had a long relaxing pee with a
smile on her face.
She got up
from the loo and went straight into the shower to get herself clean and fresh
and ready for action.
As she
intimately washed herself she was thinking back to her performance under the
table at the ball where she sucked and wanked off Greg’s formidable organ as
well as looking forward to skewering herself on it.
She got out
the shower and began drying herself
“Now I’m
all clean I’m ready to get dirty again” she said to herself and as she sat on
the edge of the bath drying her legs she dropped her towel when she had dried
her inner thighs and slipped her fingers between her lips and couldn’t believe
how creamy she was
“I can get
it wetter than that” she said and went to work on herself
Greg heard the bathroom door slowly open and close again and then he
felt the duvet move and he could hear the soft rustle of the sheets and the
warmth of another body, the warmth of a naked body, a soft naked body.
He could feel Jane’s breath on his neck and her stiff nipples pressing
in his back and the fluff of her freshly laundered bush brushing against his
buttocks and he got the oh too familiar stirring in his loins as she was
pressed so close against him it was like he had a second skin.
“Hello stud” she said as she slid her hand across his skin and grasped
his semi aroused cock so he rolled onto his back and she stroked him to a full
hard on and kissed him on the mouth with true conviction and plenty of tongue while
her hand tugged on his shaft.
“I don’t think she’ll wait for foreplay,” Greg thought to himself
“She’s well and truly ready to go”
His suspicion was she had already started the party long before she
crawled back into bed and it wasn’t long after that, a matter of moments no
more, she let go of his shaft and climbed on to it.
Jane let out a long satisfying sigh as her hot creamy cunny encased
his cock and she sat up in the saddle, rising and falling on him and eliciting
pleasurable moans from him to match her own.
Glen took hold of her piston like hips as she slid her syrupy pussy up
and down his shaft and her hands were on his chest as she diligently applied
herself to the task, and as she neared her climax her delicious moans grew in
intensity and she slumped forward until her head was on his chest and she
groaned through gritted teeth as her pelvis thrusted towards the abyss.
Greg let his hands caress her slender form as he too approached the
point of no return, and when they reached the frantic final thrusts Jane was
like a wild beast lost in the moment so he gripped her arse firmly, before she
screamed out in orgasm as he pumped out his ejaculate inside her hot quim.
She collapsed on top of him and panted like a well-exercised spaniel while he
stayed inside, as her tight cunny held his cock captive in the heart of her.
After about five minutes she climbed off him
with a sigh and collapsed on the bed next to him where she lay there with her
right hand on his thigh.
Greg took hold of it in his and held it for
a minute or two before raising it to his nose so he could sniff her fingers,
but as soon as she realised what he was doing she snatched her hand away.
“Perv” she said
“I thought you’d started without me honey,” he said
“And I was right”
“You’re a pig” she said and turned her back to him, but she was
laughing.
He knew she wasn’t easily embarrassed, after all the first time they
got together came after he caught her masturbating as she sat on the toilet,
and she didn’t stop.
“I’ve spoken to Clarissa and Mira” Jane said,
“And it seems like all the Monroe boys are perverts”
“You don’t
normally complain about my perversions” he pointed out
“I’m not
complaining now,” she said and rolled over to face him and immediately
buried her face in his neck and there they lay for an indeterminate time before
making love again.
It was St Andrews day and the Monroe’s were
going to a celebration Dinner Dance at the Worsted Viper Hotel in Purplemere
and at 7.30pm
Alex Monroe was standing in front of the Mirror in his
hotel room making final adjustments to his highland regalia, as Clarissa
emerged from the bathroom wearing a green evening dress.
“Wow” he said “You look
stunning”
“Wow yourself” she
retorted “I hope you’re not wearing pants under that kilt”
“Of course not” he said and flashed her
“Excellent”
“And you?” he asked
“What do you think?” Clarissa retorted and chuckled
“You are a lovely dirty girl” he said and kissed her
Greg meanwhile, was downstairs in the bar, similarly, dressed as his younger
brother, and his girlfriend Jane was sat on a stool wearing a red evening dress
watching him and lamenting the fact that the huge dong swinging unfettered
beneath his kilt would not be coming her way that night because Jane had an
unwelcome visitor.
The youngest brother Colin had not yet arrived at the Hotel, in fact
he hadn’t even left home and was still in bed with Mira Cooke and they had been
there all day.
As in the early hours their car broke down while they were travelling
to Willow from Tipton in the north of the county, they were further delayed
because of a toe-curling sexual escapade in a lay-by on the Finchbottom
Expressway.
They went straight to bed when they were back in Willow and slept all
day, however they were still in bed at 7.30 because Mira woke up horny, so they
would definitely be late to the dinner.
After leaving the bar the Monroe brothers and their lusty ladies wandered over to the seating
plan to find out where they were sitting.
“Great table” Greg said
“Perfect” Alex said laughing
They had a six-seat table to themselves which was the
furthest from the band, so would be relatively quiet, and equidistant from the
bar and the toilets without the inconvenience of having other guests squeezing
past them.
“That’s probably the best
table in the room” Jane said
“What are we waiting
for then” Clarissa said and stuck her arm through Alex’s and added
“You may escort me to
my table good sir”
“My pleasure madam”
The dinner was well
worth the expense, the food was superb, the wine of sufficient quality for
drinking in volume and the live music was excellent, which of course led to
dancing, during which, Clarissa was being very provocative, every opportunity
she got she was squeezing his arse or rubbing her groin against his cock, and
at one point she even got her hand on it.
When they returned to
the table, Greg was sat there alone, but when they tried to start up a
conversation, he was unresponsive, so Alex leant in and whispered
“They must have had a
row”
Clarissa nodded and
then as they sat there in silence she held his hand under the table.
Clarissa felt sad for Greg,
she thought he and Jane were a great couple and she really hoped they would
sort things out, but then her mind wandered to baser thoughts, she’d heard the
noises that came from Greg’s room the night before, and Alex had told her about
how gifted he was in the manhood department, and her thoughts were getting her
hot, and she found herself rubbing her pussy through her dress with one hand
while still holding Alex’s hand with the other, and then she looked at Greg’s
vacant expression and realised that Jane hadn’t gone off in a huff, she was
under the table giving him head.
It wasn’t long before
Clarissa, had hiked up her dress and began fingering herself in earnest and at
the same time relinquishing her grip on Alex’s hand and sought to establish
contact with his cock instead.
Jane slipped under the
table almost immediately Clarissa and Alex left for the dance floor, Jane had
chosen Greg’s seat very carefully so that he was facing the room, and everyone
was clearly visible to him.
She knew very well
that she wouldn’t get through the evening without attending to his huge cock,
if they were in their room she would have given him a titwank, but that was not
an option in the ballroom, wanking him off under the table was a possibility but there was a high
probability that he would spaff on anyone sat opposite.
So she went under the table and Greg had already lifted his kilt to
accommodate her.
She hadn’t given him a blowjob before, normally when she had a
visitor, because they were both very well endowed, she normally dispatched him
with a titwank.
His purple bell end had already emerged from its pink cocoon, so she
began by flicking her tongue around his helmet before taking him in her mouth,
but he was too big for her to envelope all of him.
So she had both hands on his shaft and wanked on him diligently while
she sucked his knob.
If she had looked behind
her at that moment, she would have seen Clarissa with her dress hitched up to
her middle and her legs spread wide as she frigged her ginger minge furiously
and tugged on Alex’s cock.
But she had her hands
and her mouth full as she worked on Greg and making his toes curl as she took him to the
abyss, closer and closer and closer until he exploded in her mouth and his seed
was greedily consumed.
Clarissa could tell by
the expression on Greg’s face that he had just emptied his sack, after all
she’d seen Alex’s “cum face” enough times
“Come with me” she
said ensuring her dress covered her minge before she stood up, and Alex did the
same with his kilt, although he had to slip his jacket off to hold in front of
him to disguise his bulge, he also couldn’t go as fast as Clarissa who had
strode off purposely.
“Slow down” he thought
as he tried to follow her as she led him first to the lifts, but after pressing
both buttons, changed her mind and headed down a corridor, through a door that
said staff only, down another corridor finally arriving at another door,
labelled “Linen Cupboard” .
“In here” she said
“In a cupboard?” he
thought as he stepped inside.
As the door closed the light went on to reveal shelves full of linen,
and then Clarissa locked the door and was all over him, she hitched up her
dress until her ginger bush was exposed and held the gathered fabric around her
waist with one hand and got hold of his cock with the other.
“God Clarissa” he said, “What’s got into you?”
“This, in a minute I hope” She retorted and kissed him hard on the
mouth
“Why here?” he asked escaping her lips
“Because I’m so horny,” she said planting another kiss on his mouth,
“We have a lovely room upstairs, with a lovely bed” He pointed out
“I can’t wait” she answered curtly
“Bloody hell what got you so horny” He asked “Not that I’m complaining”
“Greg and Jane didn’t have a row” she said backing up against the door
“She was under the table sucking him off”
“What?” He exclaimed with surprise as her arms wrapped tightly around
his neck.
Clarissa was panting loudly in his ear as he reached around and got a
firm grip on each buttock and lifted her up so her obviously syrupy fanny was
at a height to receive him, and once achieved he slid effortlessly into her hot
cunny
“Ohhhhh God” Clarissa uttered and her legs locked around his middle
and he banged her against the door.
Alex had one hand on her hip and the other gripped the coat hook
behind the door and he banged her again and again and her fleshy bum cheeks
slapped against the veneer and each stroke was met with a vocal response, but
as the rhythm increased and the stokes shortened she could only manage grunts
until she finished with
“OH GOD YES” As he emptied his sack into her.
They stayed in that position for about a minute panting hard then she
said.
“I really needed that”
“It was ok then?” he asked
“Oh yes, very acceptable”
“Good” He said sincerely “Can I have another drink now?”
“Definitely” she said smiling and kissed him
They quickly made themselves decent and exited the cupboard and
retraced their steps down the corridor and returned to the ballroom where they
found Jane was no longer under the table and she and Greg had been joined by
Colin and Mira.
And the curious fact concerning the Monroe brothers and their
girlfriends that night was that Jane was the only one wearing underwear.
Colin Monroe and Mira Cooke were driving back from Tipton in the north
of the county where Colin had been examining one of the manuscripts his
University were interested in.
They drove through the night because they were supposed to be going to
a St Andrews Day dinner.
The plan was to drive all night by sharing the driving, sleep all day
back in Willow and then they would be fresh for the dinner.
The journey was uneventful, traffic very light with no road works no
accidents and subsequently they made good time, but then disaster struck at 3am
when they broke down on the Finchbottom Expressway, but they managed to limp
into a lay-by.
Fortunately, they were in a hire car which had full breakdown cover so
he quickly put in a call and were given a two hour window.
They were parked in the only lay-by on the entire stretch of the
Expressway that offered any privacy as there was a stand of trees shielding it
from the road on one side and a shrubby
copse separating it from fields beyond on the other, and Mira also knew it had
been the sight of many lusty adventures between her best friend Clarissa and
Colin’s brother Alex, so even before Colin had hung up Mira knew precisely what
she wanted to fill the 2 hour window with.
So as soon as he put his phone on the dashboard she leapt into his
arms and placed her hand on his cock, which was soon semi hard.
“You can stop tha...” he began but she stopped him talking by sticking
her tongue in his mouth.
“That’s not the reason we stopped here,” he said weekly, but that was
the sum total of his resistance as moments later he had his hands inside her clothes,
and moments after that he had pushed up her bra and had cupped her breast, and
she was kissing him urgently, with her tongue darting in and out of his mouth.
After a few minutes he judged it was time for his hand to transfer its
allegiance to more southerly climes and settled on her knee and only the 70
denier fabric of her black tights and a pair of scanty briefs stood between him
and Shangri-La, so his hand crept along her thigh, but he couldn’t progress as
far as he wanted.
Because she had been squirming and wriggling in her seat so much her
tights had start to move down her thighs, so the crotch was no longer in
contact with her fanny, but the tights hadn’t fallen low enough for him to get
his hand inside them from the top, so he forcefully ripped a hole in the crotch
of her tights instead.
The shock of his action made her stop kissing him and after a moment
she giggled
“Oh wow, that was sexy” she said “Very masterful”
A grin spread wide across her face then she began kissing him again
and set about releasing his swollen manhood from its confines as his hand
entered the hole he had made and then his finger explored the considerable
moistness of her minge while she tugged his cock out through his open fly.
They had reached the point when he was considering how he was going to
finish her off, and she was anticipating when, however the car was suddenly
filled with light and they stopped and looked at each other, then out through
the back window where the RAC van had come to a stop.
“Shit” Mira said releasing her grip on his cock “you’d better put him
away again”
“That’s going to be easier said than done” he retorted as she rearranged
her clothes and giggled
Colin had managed to wrestle his erection back in his pants just
moments before the mechanic reached his door, so he wound down his window and the
RAC man said.
“Mr Monroe?”
“Yes”
“What seems to be the problem?”
“We just lost power” Colin said
“Ok jump out and I’ll check the engine management”
“Ok” Colin said although he didn’t exactly jump, his erection meant he
had to exit the car very gingerly.
An hour later Colin and Mira watched as the RAC van drove out of the
lay-by and back onto the Expressway.
“Ok let’s go you home” he said “so we can finish what we started”
“No” she snapped and unzipped his fly “I can’t wait until we get home”
So they stood kissing in the darkness of the lay-by as Mira tugged on
his cock and then she suddenly stopped, and gave him a leery smile as she
turned around and draped herself over the bonnet, with one foot planted on the
floor she swung her other leg up so it lay along the length of the wing with
her foot illuminated by the headlight.
Colin stepped behind her where he firstly threw her coat tail to one
side, then lifted her skirt up and tucked the hem into her waistband, then
using both hands he tore her tights to shreds, and Mira looked over her
shoulder at him wide eyed and said
“My God that felt so dirty”
“You should be wearing
stockings anyway” he retorted
“It’s too chilly for
stockings” she responded, “I didn’t want my fanny to freeze”
“Not much chance of that”
Colin said “I’ve never known it to be anything but red hot”
And with that he pushed
two
fingers into her hot pussy making her gasp and moan, then he frigged her creamy
cunny until she yelled in the night
“Oh God I’m so ready”
So, he pulled his sticky fingers away from her dewy lips and replace
them with his cock
“Ohhhhh” she exclaimed as she received him and the same again with the
next stroke and the next until she came noisily and she panted a few times
through gritted teeth and he gave her three more full lengths and then when she
came again and the volume of her climax filled the trees as he emptied into
her.
Dawn was breaking as they left the lay-by and Mira was wearing a smug
expression as well as shredded tights.
They went straight to bed when they were back in Willow and slept all
day, however they were still late to the dinner because Mira woke up horny.
