Saturday, 13 February 2021

Choice Tales From the Vale – (002) What the Plumber Saw

 

It was the day before Dave Pennant’s 15th birthday when he first saw Louise Spry and he thought to himself

“That’s what I want for my birthday”

She was two year older than he was and as it turned out she was in the 6th form at the same school as him but she was a class above him in every other respect as well.

Louise was Dave’s half-brother Andy’s new girlfriend.

“Lucky bastard” Dave thought to himself

Andy was two years older than him as well and they didn’t like each other very much, in fact they didn’t like each other at all.

They had nothing in common other than sharing a mother, they didn’t even share a surname, he was Pennant and Andy’s was Bates.

He was better at sports than Dave, he was more academic than Dave and he was better looking.

But not only did they not like each other it was a dislike that would stand the test of time for them both.

 

After Andy and Louise had been going out for a few weeks she started staying over at his house on Friday or Saturday night, sometimes both.

On the second or third occasion, which was a Friday night, when she arrived at the house she dumped her coat and hand bag on the hall table.

Well not so much a hand bag, it was actually more like a holdall, it was enormous, but the clasp on it was a bit iffy and as a result it was gaping open.

Which was how Dave spotted a splash of red in her bag as he walked down the stairs.

It aroused his curiosity somewhat so he decided it should be investigated and on closer inspection it turned out to be where she kept her clean underwear and the flash of red turned out to be a pair of red lace knickers adorned with little satin ribbons.

The effect on him was instantaneous and it was no longer just his curiosity that was aroused.

But it wasn’t until the next day, when he saw Louise walk into the lounge and Dave knew that the little bit of red lace adorned with satin ribbons that he had held in his hands the previous evening was at that very moment encasing her, that he felt the full effect and he was instantly erect again.

After that first time he made it his purpose in life to, at the very earliest opportunity, delve down in her bag so he could rummage among her things until he found her fresh, neatly folded knickers, and he would commit them to memory and then picture her in them as she walked about the house.

 

Over the six months Andy and Louise were going out together Dave got to handle a lot of her underwear, of course he would have much preferred to handle their contents, but that honour went to his despicable half-brother.

Louise had quite a collection of drawers, sometimes they were plain, sometimes printed cotton, sometimes lacy, or satin, she even had some gorgeous silk panties for special occasions.

Quite often there was a matching bra, Dave liked that a lot, matching underwear was a big turn on for him anyway but on the occasions when she stayed over more than one night the colour of her bra strap was his only indicator as to what pair of knickers she was wearing at that precise moment, so a glimpse of bra strap and Voila he had a stiffy.

This situation would doubtless have continued indefinitely or at least until he’d wanked himself blind but for the fact that his arsehole half-brother decided to play away with some skanky tart from behind the bar at the Crown and Anchor.

 

Dave couldn’t believe Andy had cheated on Louise with some sad old slapper when he had a quality bird like Louise at his side.

Also Andy breaking up with Louise severely curbed Dave’s sex life for a while, even if his sex life at the time only consisted of knocking one out to images of her knickers from his wank bank.

Not that he supposed it would have lasted much longer anyway they both went off to University that September so his access to the lovely Louise’s scantie’s would have been very limited.

 

Dave was never the academic type so college and then University was never going to work for him so he left school the following year and managed with the help of his father to get an apprenticeship as a plumber at a big local firm called Drakes.

His parents were very supportive and they appreciated that he had his own path to follow and that path brought him his own relationships and his own lovers along the way and it was when he started at Drakes that he met Mark Jordon and they instantly became best mates.

When they got talking they found that they had quite a lot in common, he also had a step sibling, although in his case it was a half-sister called Scarlet and he got on really well with her.

He was also the youngest of two and he sucked academically too, while Scarlet was brilliant and was going to sail through her degree and follow it with a Masters.  

 

Mark’s Dad, Danny, had just bought an old wreck of a place just before he met Marks mum, Nicole, and it had always been very much a work in progress.

And although he had completed 90 percent of it he wouldn’t have really consider it finished until the extension was done, and more to the point nor would his wife.

So he had decided that 20 years on a project was more than enough so he decided to get Mark and Dave to help him as they were in their fourth year at Drakes, and there was plumbing to do.

The shell was up and the electrics and some of the plastering was done but as the two story extension was to house the new kitchen and bathroom he wanted the boys to help him with the plumbing.  

So on the Easter weekend Dave was staying in the spare room at the Jordan’s so they could get as much done over the holiday weekend as possible.

It was Good Friday and they were up early and Mark’s mum Nicole made them doorstep bacon butties for breakfast to give them a head start.

Nicole had poured herself a bath and they were just waiting for Scarlet to finish in the shower so they could turn the water off and drain the system down before they could crack on.

Danny and Mark then went off to the builders and plumbers merchants to buy some more materials so they wouldn’t have any holdups over the weekend, they were all hoping to have a lazy Monday before they went back to work on Tuesday.

 

While Danny and Mark were out Dave started carrying stuff up to what was going to be the new bathroom.

The only access was via a ladder from the kitchen to be, they hadn’t cut the doorways through to the house yet to cut down on drafts as the winter was barely over.

There were one or two sizable holes where the old air vents used to be but other than that it was sealed.

When Dave had climbed the ladder and he was in the new bathroom he could tell Nicole was in the bath already as he could hear her through the wall splashing about in the tub.

He stacked the tools in the corner and was just about to head back down the ladder for another load when he heard someone open a door and step heavily onto the landing.

Dave knew it wasn’t Nicole as he still hear her through the wall so he thought that it must be Mark’s elusive sister Scarlet, who he still hadn’t met at that point, so intrigued to finally lay eyes on her he thought he would look through the hole where the vent used to be and see what she looked like, Mark was always going on a about her, saying how perfect she was, so he thought he’d judge for himself just how special she was.

His first sight of her was as she walked into the toilet, she was only wearing a bra, pants and tights, and he assumed she must have been taken short before she’d finished dressing.

He had to admit that even from behind she looked pretty special.

Once she was inside the room it occurred to him to tell her there was no water to flush with but then she turned around and his jaw dropped, the semi naked girl was Louise Spry.

And the thought to alert her to the water shortage left his mind along with all the blood as it rushed headlong towards his cock.

He supposed that she assumed there was no one else in the house because she didn’t bother closing the toilet door and then proceeded to push her tights and knickers down to her knees.

“Thank you God” He said to himself as he stared transfixed at her neat brown bush before she sat down, and pissed like a horse.

She closed her eyes and a contented smile spread across her face as she emptied her obviously quite voluminous bladder.

Had it been just any girl sitting half naked on the loo pissing like a fountain he would have got a lob on and he would have scanned and digested every second of it for the wank bank and recalled it at the appropriate time.

In fact, it wasn’t an unusual occurrence as a plumber to happen upon naked or semi naked women, sometimes by accident and others by their own design. Though when they wanted you to see, it wasn’t quite the same.

But what Dave Pennant was looking at wasn’t just any girl, it was Louise Spry, the object of his lust, she was the Holy Grail of his desires, so just committing the horny image to the wank bank wasn’t enough for him, he knew it had to be a live event.

So almost before he knew it he was tugging furiously on his swollen cock as he watched Louise Spry pissing, wiping and then standing.

She leant forward to grab the waist band of her pink knickers and her breasts hung heavily in the matching bra, before she pulled the pink scantie’s slowly and tantalisingly up her thighs to encase her deliciousness.

Then she repeated the operation with her tights but before she had wriggled her cute little arse back into them he had emptied his sack all over the brickwork.

 

It was only after he had cleaned up his mess and his legs had stopped shaking that he wondered why Louise Spry was in his best mates bathroom entertaining the plumber.

Shortly after his loss of control and his juvenile episode as a peeping Tom he heard the front door close, so he hurried down the ladder but by the time he got outside all he could see was the back of Ford Fiesta disappearing through the gate.  

 

He didn’t get to see the illusive Louise Spry again until two days later on the afternoon of Easter Sunday.

They had taken a break from their labours and were sitting on the patio drinking tea and enjoying some of Nicole’s delicious fruit cake

“Hi Scarlet” Nicole said over Dave’s shoulder so he half turned around to look at her and he nearly choked.

“Hello” Louise replied

“This is…” Mark began

“I know you” she said “you’re David”

“That’s right” He replied “Dave, but I remember you as Louise”

Everyone laughed at Dave’s observation and then Mark explained

“Scarlet is a family name, Dad used to call her “Miss Scarlet” when she was little because she blushed all the time”

Dave smiled but what brought a smile to his lips was the thought of how much she would have blushed if she’d seen him watching her through the airbrick.

 

The next day they still hadn’t finished everything they had planned to do, despite the best efforts of all involved, and it was apparent that they wouldn’t even if they worked at it all day.

So Nicole prepared one of her cooked breakfasts, and they would have a leisurely start to the day and then get on and do a bit more, even Scarlet/Louise did a bit.  

But they had only been working for about two hours when Mark fell off the ladder in the extension and broke his arm.  

Danny and Nicole got him in the car ready to take the wounded soldier to A&E at the Winston Churchill. 

“I don’t want you working up there on your own Dave” Danny said

“Ok” Dave replied “I’ll just reconnect the water, and tidy up a bit”

“Thanks lad” he replied

“Text us” Dave suggested

“Will do” Danny said and drove off

Dave did as he had promised and Louise cleared the breakfast things and got the kitchen straight.

And despite not planning on doing a lot, another two hours had passed before he was stepping into the shower.

After he’d showered and dressed he packed his bag and went downstairs to the kitchen and made himself a coffee.

It was while he was sat at the kitchen table that Louise walked in.

“Hello Dave” she said

“Hi …” he began “Do I call you Louise or Scarlet?”

“Louise is fine” she replied as she made herself a cup of tea

“I’m flattered you remember me by the way” he said

“Oh I remember you very well” she said and he was rather pleased that he had made such an impression on her and then as she sat opposite him she continued

“You used to go through my hand bag when I stayed over at your house, looking at my knickers?”

“No I didn’t” he responded indignantly

“Oh yes you did” she contradicted

“So come on let’s hear you admit it”

“Ok” he said resignedly “Yes I did”

“I know you did” she said very definitely

“But how did you know?”

“Because I saw you do it once”

“Oh”

“Yes I looked down over the bannisters and your hands were in my bag, but I didn’t see exactly what you were doing” she said “I thought perhaps you were looking for my fags”

“I see”

“But when I thought about it I soon realised what you were really up to” she explained

“So I set a trap for you”

“A trap?”

“Yes I started packing my knickers inside out but when I went to put them on they were always the right way round”

“So why didn’t you say something or stop leaving them for me to find?” he asked

“Because I was rather flattered” she said “and I thought it was quite sweet, endearing really, in a way”

“Really?”

“Yes” she replied “You were just a boy”

Dave sat silently fearing the next question

 

Dave sat silently, waiting with baited breath, and fearing the next question.

“So I have to ask because I’ve always wondered” here it comes he thought

“Why?” she asked

“Do I have to answer that?”

“Yes” she insisted

“Really?”

“Oh yes”

“Oh God this is embarrassing” he said

“Come on out with it” she urged

“I did it so I could see what underwear you would be wearing while you were in the house”

“And then what?” she asked

“Well it was a turn on knowing you were wearing the knickers I’d held in my hands” he confessed

“You little perve” she said in mock horror “Did you do the same with the dirty ones”

“No I didn’t” he said with real horror “I’m not a pervert”

“Well you are a bit” she pointed out

“Well I’m not that kind of pervert then”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure, I had no interest in your soiled pants” he said very definitely “of course it might have been different if it was me that had soiled them on you in the first place, but that was never a possibility”

“Maybe not, then” she said and then Louise stood up and walked around the table and when she reached him she turned her back to him

“Do these meet with your approval?” She said and let the denim fall away from her buttocks to reveal a pair of pale blue lace trimmed knickers and he reached out and felt one of her pantie covered buttocks.

“Very nice” he said and began pulling them off her delightful buttocks

“No, no” she said pulling away

“You must soil them on me, remember” and then she sat on his knee before adding “and then you can keep them”

Louise perched on his knee and David tried to kiss her but she drew her head back

“First things first” she said and took his hand and placed it on her naked thigh.

For all those months when she was dating Andy he had dreamt of touching her, he always knew she was no prude, he’d heard the slutty guttural noises emanating from his half-brothers bedroom so he was never under any illusion.

His hand rested on her thigh and as he gently pulled her thigh apart Louise braced herself with one hand on the back of his chair while the other gripped the table.

David’s hand crept inch by tantalizing inch along Louise’s firm thigh as they involuntarily opened and closed in anticipation of his hands approach.

And as his fingers got closer and closer she moaned quietly and her buttocks squirmed on his lap, her breaths becoming deeper and more erratic the closer his fingertips got to her pussy.

She was biting her lip and fidgeting on his lap as his fingers slowly and deliberately traced the outline of her panties.   

And when his finger finally reached the heart of her fire an involuntary gasp escaped her lips as he fingered her through the cloth as it slipped and slid on her wet crease until her cream oozed through the fabric and Louise began to moan.

Her hands gripped the furniture so tight that her knuckles whitened as she wriggled and panted out coarse rasping breaths until with a deliriously dirty moan, she came, and with her exclamation he withdrew his sticky fingers from between her legs.

“I think that’s them well and truly soiled” he said and slipped out from beneath her, and then she plopped down hard on the chair.

“No don’t stop” she said

He stood up as straight as his throbbing erection would allow, the last thing he wanted to do was stop, but he had to wrestle control back from her.  

“I have work tomorrow” he said and slipped on his jacket

“No don’t go” she pleaded and stood up and rubbed her buttock and then tried to close the distance between them but her jeans were around her knees so she had to waddle which meant he could easily keep out of her reach and he sidestepped through the kitchen door and out into the hall.

 

Having sidestepped through the kitchen door and out into the hall to avoid the sexy waddling Louise he said to himself once he was out in the hall.

“I hope this works”

“I’m sure I’ll see you again soon” he said over his shoulder

“Wait” she called after him

“Bye” he responded

Louise kicked off her jeans in frustration and they flew across the kitchen and landed half in the sink, and then she sprinted after him.

Dave glanced back and his eyes were transfixed on the growing wet patch on the crotch of her pale blue knickers.

“Please don’t go” she said and tried to kiss him but he drew his head away out of the reach of her lips

“Oh Dave” she exclaimed

“So you want to kiss me now then?” he said desperate for her tongue to be in his mouth but remaining strong despite the desperation.

“I want to do everything” she said and moved to kiss him again only this time he let them find their mark and when they stopped he said

“I think those soiled knickers you’re wearing are mine now”

Louise’s face cracked into a smile and then she blushed as she took a step backwards and slipped her wet knickers off and then she threw them in his face and scampered bare arsed upstairs giggling as she went.

Dave smiled and slipped his jacket off and hung it on the banister post, he then bent down and picked up the pale blue knickers and slipped them into his coat pocket before progressing slowly up the stairs after her.

He wanted to sprint up them two at a time but in his state of total arousal it meant that his cock wouldn’t let him.

When he got to her bedroom she was already in bed with the covers pulled up to her chin, she was still giggling and her legs were performing a jig beneath the duvet as Dave quickly stripped off and joined her.

Very soon he had her making the noise’s he had last heard emanating from his half-brothers bed room several years earlier, but on this occasion it was Dave conducting her erotic song, and he much preferred his version.

 

He kissed her forehead and left Louise sleeping beneath her Duvet and then walked home with Louise Spry’s soiled knickers in his pocket and it suddenly occurred to him that he finally had something in common with his half-brother Andy other than their mother.

When the Jordan’s returned home from the hospital with the wounded soldier later that night to find the house in darkness they were none the wiser as to what had occurred in Nicole’s kitchen or Louise’s bedroom.

Her mum did query why her jeans were half in and half out the kitchen sink but that was all.

They remained unaware of the couple’s ongoing sexual exploits for a further three months.

The two of them didn’t want to announce they were together until they knew for certain sure there was more to their relationship that the very satisfying sex, plus Dave was concerned that it might have affected his friendship with Mark when he found out he’d been schtupping perfect Scarlet.

When they were ready to tell, the news was greeted with all round approval and Mark said he was hoping they would get together.

Dave never told Louise he had spied on her while she was in the toilet or that he’d knocked one out while he watched.

And despite the fact they married two years later, which pleased his best mate and best man Mark no end, and thoroughly pissed off his half-brother Andy, those very first sexy images of Louise that the plumber saw in the bathroom never dimmed and stayed in his wank bank for ever.


Thursday, 11 February 2021

ARE YOU WEARING SILK, SATIN OR LACE?

 

Are you wearing silk?

Or perhaps satin and lace

Or maybe you’re wearing nothing

If so, you are a disgrace

You’re not wearing any, are you?

I can tell by that blush on your face

I doubt anyone else would suspect

With not a hair out of place

No one would suspect

With that innocent look on your face

But I know you are a commando girl

And I want to share in your disgrace

Wednesday, 10 February 2021

ISLE OF LOVE

 

 

The scent of jasmine and honeysuckle was
Everywhere, drifting on the afternoon breeze
Filling my nostrils and catching in my dry throat
The ice in my drink chinked out a melody and
Beckoned me, my companion sat on the veranda
She turned her head to me as I approached
I leant down and kissed the nape of her neck
The downy hairs stood up and I kissed again
She met my gaze and smiled coyly then looked down
At her lap, so my eyes wandered to the
Gaping fabric of her silk dress and the soft
Roundness of her within. I watched as
Her nipples aroused either by the cooling
Air or at the knowledge of my gaze, no matter
I felt no shame at the beholding of her
She looked up at me with beguiling eyes
Her eyes said our drinks could wait awhile
I took her hand and returned her smile

Choice Tales from the Vale – (004) The Girl in the Red Stockings

 

We were just a group of mates staying at Sharpinghead for the Spring Bank Holiday Weekend.

Well, when I say it was just a group of mates, we were more than that and I should also clarify that by saying it was a group of mates and Waldo.

We were staying at the Whitecliff Hill Caravan Park close to Sharpington.   

There were 8 of us altogether in three caravans, my sister Lorraine shared with Louise and Charlotte, I shared with Dave and Andy while Samantha shared the third caravan with her boyfriend Waldo Pienaar.

We were all in our early 20s apart from Waldo who was pushing 30 and again with the exception of Waldo we had been friends forever.

Caravan holidays weren’t really my cup of tea at all, as I don’t like caravans or tents for that matter but that’s probably because I’m 6ft 4, so of course caravans don’t really cater for people of my height.

The only reason I went at all was because Samantha Perry was going to be there, and the fact she was going was very important to me because I loved her, I always had, and I always would, which was sad really because she didn’t love me, because if she did, she wouldn’t have kept going out with a succession of complete pillock’s like Waldo.

But I figured if I couldn’t have her to myself, I could at least be around her and enjoy her company and it wasn’t the first time I’d tagged along on such outings, so I wouldn’t want to give the impression that I was miserable on such occasions, I still had fun I just didn’t have Sam to myself.

 

We arrived at the caravan park late on Friday night in the pouring rain and we were all exhausted, we only had the energy for a quick drink and turned in early.

 

Saturday started grey and damp and the evidence of the previous days deluge was everywhere to be seen, but the sun burst through mid-morning and we got to spend the rest of the day on the beach.

Which was where I got to see the sight that drew me to the beaches of Sharpington in the first place, the most beautiful girl I have ever known wearing her yellow bikini.

It was a lovely afternoon and we had great fun playing volleyball on the sand, only my sister Lorraine noticed that I spent more time watching Sam than I did the ball.

The evening though was a massive let down for me as Samantha and Waldo didn’t join the group, Waldo wanted them to go out on their own.

The rest of us went to the pub and the evening really dragged.

 

I was up early on Sunday Morning of the Whitsun Bank Holiday weekend, although no one seems to call it Whitsun anymore, the fad seems to be to call it the Spring Bank Holiday instead, I don’t know why.

The rain had returned in earnest during the night and the park was very quiet, I walked around for a while squelching between the puddles and then approached caravan 17a.          

The pretext was to speak with Waldo but in truth I wasn’t looking for him at all the only reason I was going over there was to see Sam.

I knew she was an early riser so I was sure she would be up, and the kettle would be hot.

 

I knocked on the door and got no answer which was strange, so I knocked once more and still there was no answer.

I looked around and noticed Waldo’s car was gone, I knocked again, and I was beginning to think there was no one in and then I heard the faintest response of

“Come in”

I opened the door and stepped into caravan 17a and found Samantha propped up in the corner on the bench seat, there was an empty glass on the table and two empty wine bottles on the floor.

“Good morning sunshine” I said

“Is it?” she replied without opening her eyes.

She was sitting with both feet on the seat with her knees drawn up in front of her and she leant forward and rested her elbows on her knees   while her hands pushed her beautiful thick chestnut brown hair off her forehead away from her bleary eyes.

I sat down on the opposite end of the bench, so I was looking straight at her and I was very grateful.

The reason for that was that Samantha was naked apart from a pair of red lace topped stockings, matching suspender belt and a wry smile on her lovely face.

Her lightly tanned skin was sufficiently darkened, due to the previous day’s beach activities, to highlight in stark contrast the distinct outline of her bikini top and the pallid white flesh of her pert breasts surmounted by perfect deep pink nipples arousing nicely in the cool morning air.

But my eyes were soon drawn to the glorious thicket that was the coarse triangle of brunette hair that extended to their fullest extent either side of her lips.

“Where’s Waldo?” I asked

“He’s gone” she said sadly

“What this early?” I asked

“No, last night” she replied coldly “he dumped me”

“What? He shagged you and then dumped you?”

“No, he dumped me and didn’t shag me” she said in disbelief “I got all kitted out for him as well”

“I can see that babe” I said

“What?” she asked and screwed up her face in a puzzled expression as she tried to decipher my words.

Samantha then opened her eyes to their fullest extent and looked at me for clarification and I nodded in her direction in answer to her enquiry and her state of undress suddenly dawned on her

“Oh God” she exclaimed and shut her thighs like a bear trap and scrambled for her blanket 

“You pig” she shouted “Why didn’t you tell me I was naked”

“Are you kidding me?” I said “and pass up the chance to see a gorgeous girl’s treasures”

I realized the moments the words left my lips I had shown my hand,

“Perhaps she’s too hung over to have noticed” I said to myself

Her treasures were now well and truly buried beneath the hastily positioned blanket and the only visible parts of her were her bright red face above, and her red stocking covered toes, peeping out from below.

“Since when did you think I was gorgeous anyway?” she asked from the safety of her hiding place.

“What do you mean?” I said cursing myself for letting my guard down, apparently, she wasn’t as hung over as she appeared

“You said you wouldn’t pass up the chance to see a gorgeous girls treasures” she said “so when did you start thinking I was gorgeous?”

And that was a question I was never in my wildest dreams expected to be asked.

Faced with a direct question I couldn’t back track, so I took a deep breath.

“Well let me see that would be since about the time you were seven” he replied

“Since I was 7?” she exclaimed in disbelief

“What did I do when I was seven that had such a profound effect on you?”

“You showed me your knickers in Belldon Wood”

“I did not” she protested

“Yes, you did” I said adamantly, “they were white with little blue periwinkle flowers on them”

Samantha gasped and said

“I remember those knickers”

“So, do I, vividly”

“Oh God I did show you my knickers, didn’t I?” she said, she would have gone red at the remembrance had she not still been crimson from showing me everything else.

“Yes” I confirmed

“So, it was actually my knickers you thought were gorgeous” she said

I hesitated before answering, I could have agreed with her and simply laughed the whole thing off, because if I told the truth then the genie would be out of the bottle and I wouldn’t be able to unsay it.

“That’s not true” I replied deciding to bite the bullet

“I think you’re gorgeous now and you’re not wearing any”

“Don’t remind me” She said blushing crimson again and hiding her face behind her blanket.

“So, you’ve fancied me ever since I was seven?”

“Pretty much” I confessed

“You really fancied me all that time?”

“It’s worse than that I’m afraid!” I admitted

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked emerging from cover.

“I never knew how” I replied

“I was just a passing fancy then” she said dismissively

“Not at all” I corrected her “I’ve always wanted you, but because you’re so special to me, and you’re such a good mate I didn’t want to risk losing that if you didn’t feel the same about me”

“So, did you ever get close?” she asked softly

“Once or twice”

“And?” she queried

“You were in between completely unsuitable boyfriends who didn’t deserve you at the time” I said

“But I dithered around for too long, so I wasn’t even able to catch you on the rebound”

Once the cat was out of the bag, I thought I might at least get closure, for good or bad, but as it turned out I didn’t get to hear her response.

Samantha’s mouth opened but before she could speak there was a loud bang on the door.

“Who is it?” Sam yelled crossly

“It’s Loz you grumpy bint”

How ironic that my sister of all people would turn out to be the killjoy, she had been encouraging me for years to tell Sam how I felt.

“The door is open” Sam said

Lorraine opened the door and walked in and I was the first one she saw.

“Hey Mark, I’ve been looking for you” she said and then her eyes fell on Samantha

“Oh, dear me, you look really rough” Lorraine said and laughed

“Shut up and have some respect for the dead” Samantha responded

“Well, I suggest the corpse gets its zombie arse into the shower and then get your glad rags on” Loz instructed   

“Why what’s going on?” Sam asked

“We’re all going into Sharpington for lunch” Lorraine replied and then turned to me

“And you, we leave in an hour, come on”

She started out the door and was expecting me to follow.

But I stood in the doorway and turned to look at Sam

“I liked it when you called them my treasures” she said

“You’re the real treasure” I responded, and she smiled and just before I closed the door I said

“Wear your lemon dress, you always look stunning in that dress”

 

When I had closed the door and walked down the steps, I found Lorraine was waiting for me around the corner.

“Did you know Waldo did a runner last night?” she asked

“Yes” I replied

“So?”

“So what?” I asked

“So, now’s the time to get to her before she gets tangled up with some other loser”

“What do you think I was doing when we were interrupted?”

Lorraine stopped and grabbed my arm

“You told her?”

“Yes” I replied and started walking again

“So how did it go?” she shouted

“How do you think it went” I snapped “I’m out here with you”

 

Sam and I travelled to Sharpington in separate cars and as I was in the car Andy was driving we arrived in town ten minutes behind Louise and the girls despite the fact we were right on their bumper when we left Whitecliff Hill Park and the reason for that was because he drives like an 80 year old woman.

We were further delayed due to the fact that he is totally incapable of parallel parking, so by the time we reached the restaurant the girls were already seated at the table and I ended up with Lou and Lottie between me and Sam.

It was a long and frustrating lunch, finding myself so far from the woman I loved, and the service was diabolical.

On that particular day of all days, it didn’t help and although I was delighted to see that she was wearing the lemon dress as I suggested, every time I caught her eye she looked away immediately. 

 

After lunch the weather brightened so we all walked down to the seafront, I walked slowly behind the pack with my hands stuffed in my pockets and cursed my stupidity for making my declaration to her.

My worst fears had been realized, I had shared the secret I had kept to myself for 17 years and as I always knew would be the case if I spoke up, instead of winning her love I had now lost her friendship.    

“Why did I do it?” I said to myself and then I felt an arm slip through mine, when I glanced sideways to see who the arm belonged, I fully expected it to be Lorraine but I was amazed to see it was Sam.

“I have a confession to make” she said

“Oh yes” I replied

“I think I chose totally unsuitable boyfriends who didn’t deserve me because I couldn’t have you” she said, and we came to a stop

“And now?” I asked with bated breath

Samantha had turned to face and said

“I choose you”

And then she kissed me.

 

We walked the length of Sharpington seafront in the warm May sunshine and talked like we had never talked before.

And by the time we returned to the others it was almost evening.

“Come on you two” Lorraine called “We’re going to the pub as soon as we get back, you in?”

“Count us out we’ve got plans” Sam said

“Oh, where are you two going then?” Lottie asked and I turned to look at Sam because I didn’t know what plans we had either and Samantha squeezed my hand and smiled at me.

“A treasure hunt” she replied and we both giggled

Everyone looked completely bemused by her answer and my response to it but suffice is to say we were in Samantha’s caravan until midafternoon on Bank Holiday Monday treasure hunting.

Tuesday, 9 February 2021

YOU CAN RING MY BELL

 

Do you like making spoons in bed?
Or do you do it on all fours like beasts
Perhaps in the style of the missionaries
Or does she straddle you like a monkey on a stick?
Is she animated when you're at it?
Thrashing about a lot
Or motionless like a resuscitation doll
Maybe you have her with trembling knees against a wall?
Mounting her roughly from behind
What about the wheelbarrow?
Have you tried that position?
Maybe bondage or spanking is your thing?
Do you play two way family favorites?
Kissing the inside of her milky white thigh
Before drinking from the velvet cup
Does she enjoy performing orally?
Is her behavior quite low, morally
Base and sluttish
Or is she prim and proper
Prudish about being rude-ish

 

Maybe it's not what you do but who you do it with
Vampish or tarty, dumb or smarty
Clear complexioned or spotty
Level headed or dotty
Intelligently spectacled
Scantily clad in edibles
What about role playing and dressing up
Does she wear uniforms of cotton or serge?
And do you dress as a centurion
Or a gladiator
Do you play doctors and nurses?
Or vicars and tarts Master and slave
Butler and parlor maid
Teacher and pupil
Acting out fantasies of filth
Do you do it wearing a hat?
In German helmet and jack boots
Cross dressing perhaps
In a pencil skirt or floral dress
Leather goods or latex or pace
What about toys or sexual aids
No let's not go there
What about swinging do you fancy that?
Arriving in a Porsche and going home in a Passat
Does she need to be of a certain physical type?
To be of the right dimensions?
Or proportions
Tall and pencil thin
Or perhaps pear shaped or round
An hour glass figure
Or a stick thin anorexic
A particular color eyes
Hair, long, short or none at all
Blonde, brunette or red
Body piercing?
A turn on? Or turn off?
Tattoo's, like wise
Do you like your beaver wild or tamed?
Does a Brazilian look too much like you need a swipe card?
And if it looks like Adolph Hitler's moustache do you care
When her breasts are released are they like airbags deploying
Or are they small and pert just enough for toying
Are you fussy about her appearance?
Or is a pulse all she needs
Perhaps you're not even that fussy

 

Is she noisy when you're on the nest?
Perhaps that's what you like the best
Once she's warmed up do you make her bellow?
So you have to turn her over and make her bite the pillow?
What about location does it matter where it's done
Do you like it to be a public place?
When she's sitting on your face
Do you like it al fresco in the woods or maybe the park
Or does a dog sniffing your bum put you off your stroke
At someone's party under a pile of coats
At the cinema or theatre
Out back in a dark alley way
In the car? We've all done it there
All around the house in the bathroom and on the stair
Well you can do it in the hall or on the kitchen table
Even on the toilet if she doesn't care
It doesn't matter what you do to ring each other’s bell
Or where you ring it bloody hell
Just as long as all parties are willing and able
That's the best thing of all and the most important
And the most exiting when she tells you yes

Monday, 8 February 2021

ARE YOU WEARING BIG KNICKERS?

 

Are you wearing big knickers?

Those good old-fashioned drawers

That cover everything that matters

But are still the source of phwors

ARE YOU WEARING LACE?

 

Are you wearing lace?

To decorates that place

I can’t tell from your face

There is no hint or trace

I think black lace does grace

Your fine pert brace

Oh, my thoughts are base

And that image I can’t erase

Of the garments of lace

That cover and encase