BERNADETTE FROM BLACKHEATH

 

I remember my very first girlfriend

Bernadette O’Flahety was her name

She was ever so slightly unattractive

But she was my girlfriend all the same

 

She was considered quite the looker

Where she was born in Blackheath

Despite the very large warty nose

With the ginger moustache beneath

 

She did have a face like a smashed crab

Or perhaps like a bag full of spanners

She had tufts of red hair under her arms

Like a pair of nesting ginger hamsters

 

They say that beauty is only skin deep

So she must have had hers on inside out

She’d a funny eye so that one looked

At you and the other seeked you out

 

She was best viewed in a dimmed light

Preferably from distance to be unkind

It was best not to see her naked form

But tackle her in the dark from behind

 

She had hairy legs and even hairy nipples

Her shape wasn’t curves so much as sags

She carried at least three spare tyres

And had breasts like roof tiler's nail bags

 

Bernadette's complexion resembled

Two-week-old cold lumpy porridge

She had Denis Healy bushy eyebrows

Accentuating the prominent ridge

 

She was older than me by a little bit

And she had been around the block

And it would be more than fair to say

She had too many miles on the clock

 

Bernadette was a bit of an old banger

You could say in more way than one

But on a those long cold dark nights

She was also a real bundle of fun

 

My brother said unkindly, the poor girl

Must have fallen from the ugly tree

And making matters worse she had hit

On the way down a branch or three

 

The excessive cellulite on her thighs

Made them look and feel like tripe

She had a number of boils and sores

And her skin was of the greasy type

 

And yes, it’s true that she did have a face

Like a well smacked arse, bless her

Or a bulldog chewing a wasp but then

I was no oil painting or Adonis either

 

And perhaps she was not what a mother

Would want to choose for her son

But Bernadette was quite acceptable

For a shy young man to practice on

Choice Tales from the Vale – (006) Pink Pants in the Laundry

 

It was a perfect early spring morning in the leafy village of Pangmere and the breeze stirred the treetops, and the birds sang to the sun.

And the birds weren’t the only early risers, Sally Carey was lying in bed, warm and cosy beneath the duvet, as the birds twittered in the trees and the early morning light tried to penetrate her bedroom.

As she lay there half-awake, half-dreaming, Sally could hear him through the bedroom wall as he stood in the shower and as she listened to the splattering and splashing, she envied every droplet of water as it ran unchecked over his naked skin.

However, the root of her envy was because she had been in love with him since she was eleven years old and now that she was almost twenty, she wanted him with every fibre of her being.

The subject of her fervent want was Danny Netherton, the elder brother of Sally’s best friend Erin, who at the age of 18 had, to all intents and purposes, by necessity become the father of his 11-year-old sister.

Their parents were killed in a tragic car crash on the Pepperstock Expressway during a snowstorm and all his hopes and dreams for the future died in the snow along with them.

His plans to study engineering at University and what that might have led to had to be set aside in order for him to raise his little sister, so that she at least would be able to fulfil her potential.

The early years of his enforced parenthood he was almost consumed by his new responsibilities, running the home, nurturing Erin and holding down a job.

But the saving grace for all his sacrifice and being weighed down by responsibilities at such a young age was that he was a stronger person for the experience and Erin was to become everything their parents would have wished her to be, and he was proud of that result.

Giving up his own academic ambitions had allowed Erin to follow her dreams and she was now at Cambridge University with Sally.

 

As she lay in the cosy warmth of her bed listening to the water washing over him, images of his wet naked body filled her head and she felt aroused.

Her flesh tingled and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and her nipples erected, and she felt that tell-tale feeling as the warmth built deep within her.

 

The water stopped and the heavy foot fall told her he had stepped out of the shower and then she pictured his wet naked form as he did so, and just a thin stud wall separated her eager want from the object of her lust and desire.

She could see in her mind’s eye each droplet of water dripping from his torso or running freely down his skin and her hand travelled purposely across her belly as her arousal grew.

And as her breathing deepened and her pulse quickened her small delicate fingers slipped beneath the waistband and proceeded further until her whole hand was inside her bottoms.

 

Her entire hand was inside her shorts as Sally pictured him wet and naked just the other side of the stud wall, she could see the towel now, wrapped around him as she wanted to be wrapped around him and her fingers went quickly between her moist lips and she found she was almost as wet as he was.

Sally was lost in those dreamy creamy thoughts of lust when the door suddenly opened and she heard herself gasp as Danny walked into the room, but her fingers lingered between her juicy lips as she clenched her buttocks tightly and grasped her thighs firmly around her hand, but as she watched him across the room, wearing just a towel her slender digits moved involuntarily and she continued to stroke herself.

Sally knew with him in the room she should stop fingering herself, but she couldn’t help herself, she couldn’t stop.  

Sally was sleeping in the spare room which also housed the laundry basket and Danny began picking up the laundry that had been discarded in and around the wash bin.

There was always plenty of it when Erin was back from University and even more whenever Sally slept over.

Sally and Erin had been best friend since forever and over the years she had been a regular house guest.

They’d been back from University for a week and the washing had already built up and this was the first opportunity he’d had to get to grips with it.

So, as it was Saturday and the girls had gone to a party the night before and had stayed over at another friend’s place, he thought he should make a start on the washing.

As he went through the assorted jeans, T-shirts and lingerie, he began to think how quickly time passed by and how quickly his sister and her best friend had grown up.

He smiled to himself as he remembered Erin’s first bra, which was a purely cosmetic device of course when she was twelve.

Then as she grew, she went through various stages of padded enhancements and eventually to the full cupped and underwired contraptions she wore today.

It was the same with her pants, in the early days they were childishly embellished with flowers or colourful characters, then they progressed through to practical pants and onto more sophisticated items before progressing on to the skimpy things of lace and bows because is little sister was a grown woman now.

 

Sally watched as he stood across the room in the half light, his upper body still damp, a towel wrapped around the lower.

He was standing sorting laundry into baskets of light and dark and as he held a pair of pink knickers, she recognised them as her own and she wished she was wearing them at that moment and her arousal deepened.

Danny held the pink panties briefly in his hand before dropping them into the appropriate pile.

Then a red pair, then pale blue silk and followed by black lace.

Sally watched as he handled her knickers one pair after another and she bit her lip, she had never been so turned on.

Her finger was still engaged between her juicy lips, she knew she should stop but she just couldn’t, she was just too hot.

As Danny was methodically sorting through the mountain of dirty washing, he had no idea she was laying there in the gloom or what she was doing there beneath the duvet, she and Erin were supposed to be sleeping over at Karen’s house in Shallowfield, some 20 miles away.

Had he known she was there he would not have entered the room especially wearing nothing but a towel, he would have been too self-conscious.

 

Danny had known Sally since she was an awkward clumsy eleven-year-old girl who seemed to spend her entire time either falling over or picking herself up and showing off her floral knickers in the process.

But she was a young woman now and Sally was a far cry from the klutzy eleven-year-old in the flowered briefs, she had grown up to become a swan.

He could never tell her that though, nor could he tell his sister Erin how he felt about her.

 

God how Sally wanted to finish herself off right there and then, but she couldn’t with him standing there.

But she didn’t want him to leave either, touching herself with him so close to her was so exciting, she had never felt as hot as she did at that moment.

 

Danny fished out the last item from the bottom of the bin, a pair of yellow knickers with white bows.

“They’re mine” she said in her head “Oh God”

Danny smiled and dropped them in the appropriate pile and turned to leave the room when Sally let out an involuntary moan and he turned around.

“Is that you Sal?” he asked

Sally bit hard on her lip after her exclamation but was still unable to halt her fingering

“Yes” she replied through clenched teeth

He walked to the window and opened one curtain, spilling gentle spring light into the room.

The sunlight fell across the rumpled screwed up duvet and a shapeless bulge beneath it.

“I thought you and Erin were staying over at Karen’s” Danny said

“Erin did” she gasped “but I didn’t fancy it”

Each word was spoken through gritted teeth and were slow and laboured and she was squirming beneath the duvet as her fingers still worked at her creamy wetness.

He took a hand full of duvet and threw it aside revealing Sally’s lustful pose.

Her nipples were standing proud through her pyjama top and her right hand was still inside her shorts.

Instead of feeling embarrassment, Sally’s exposure before the object of her lust merely turned her on even more and her fingers still lingering between her wet lips wouldn’t stop.

It was there that his eyes were drawn, that place were the fabric of her shorts moved to the rhythm of her busy fingers frigging herself before him.

As he stood there looking at the wonderful lustful sight, he felt a passion welling up in him, a passion he had suppressed over the last two years which he dare not have hoped to have acted upon until that moment.

He watched her and she reached out her left hand and tugged at the towel wrapped around him until it fell away exposing his own arousal and she frigged her pussy with greater vigour.

Danny sat on the bed and reached up to her buttocks pulled her pyjama shorts off her buttocks and down her thighs and even as he pulled them off over her ankles and tossed them into the wash basket her busy finger never ceased their purposefulness and then he sat there stroking her thigh and watched her come.

Sally laughed a dirty lustful chuckle as Danny joined her in bed and the mutual want that had simmered for so long between them finally came to the boil in a hot passionate toe-curling conclusion to their lust and a warm-hearted beginning to their love.

YOU’RE MINE

 

Your size four feet are mine
Your slender stockinged legs are mine
Your firm round buttocks are mine
Your unwaxed loins are mine
Your smooth flat belly is mine
Your manicured nails are mine
Your pert young breasts are mine
Your brown bobbed hair is mine
Your pretty round face is mine
Your puppy dog eyes are mine
Your turned up nose is mine
Your pale pink mouth is mine
Your coquettish laugh is mine
My heart and soul are yours

Choice Tales from the Vale – (005) The Birthday Treat

 

I emerged from the bathroom just in time to see Marilyn, wearing a little black dress and walking sexily through a freshly atomized cloud of perfume.

And with the final touches applied to her makeup she sat on the bed and looked at me with complete and utter, and more to the point, shamelessly undisguised lust.

In fact, I thought she looked so wanton that I wondered if we would make it to the restaurant at all.

 

As we walked through reception, I am not ashamed to admit I felt exceeding proud to have such a beautiful girl on my arm.

I counted my blessing every day and thanked God for placing her in my life.

So just before we entered the restaurant, I turned to her and said

“I love you Miss Kane”

Marilyn smiled and kissed me.

“I love you too” she responded “old man”   

“Old man?” I exclaimed as I watched her walk ahead of me.

“Come on, keep up granddad” she called.

She was referring to the fact that I had turned 30 that day, which was why we were staying in the bridal suite in a luxury hotel, and she was only 23.

 

We were seated in the conservatory section of the restaurant and it was a little cool, so I asked the waiter to close the skylight as Marilyn had goose bumps on her arms and her temperature gauges had activated.

The waiter duly obliged with regard to the skylight and as he walked away Marilyn asked

“Are you staring at my nipples?”

“Of course,” I replied

“Well, that’s alright then” she said so I continued staring

“You didn’t bother with a bra then” I said stating the obvious, because her pert breasts were perfectly defined

“Are you complaining?” Marilyn asked 

“Not at all, less for me to take off later” I replied

“Don’t assume you’re getting lucky just because it’s your birthday” she said aloofly

“So, what was that lustful leer you were giving me earlier?” I asked

“Indigestion” she replied

“You’ll soon change your tune once I get my hand inside your knickers” I told her

“No chance of that” she said very definitely and blushed crimson red.  

So, I put my hand on her knee and moved my hand up under her skirt and beyond her stocking top to her knickerless nonny.

She was looking very pleased with herself, so I pulled one of her pubes and made her yelp.

“The last time you went out without any knickers on you were in bed for three days” I reminded her

“That’s a result I would settle for this time,” she confessed

On the occasion that led to her being confined to bed was as a result of walking through the village wearing much the same as she was that night to wish me a happy New Year, the problem was that it was half past midnight, and it was minus 5.

 

Luckily at that moment the starters arrived, and it was so delicious that my thoughts were completely distracted from Marilyn’s freshly laundered and unfettered fanny.

It was only when we were sipping our coffee that the lascivious leer returned to her innocent face and a trouser tickle to my pants.

This tickle grew as I remembered that the founder of the feast seated next to me was “sans pants”.

I put my hand back on her knee and gently pulled her legs apart.

Then my hand crept along her thigh, dwelling momentarily on the lacy fringe before proceeding along the soft silkiness of her inner thigh and ultimately the luscious moist jewel of her young pussy.

Her lips were already open and very accommodating to my approaching fingers, which slipped along her slippery crease and entered her easily which prompted her to instantly close her legs.

“Upstairs now” she ordered “sign the bill and get upstairs you dirty old man”

“Yes miss” I said feigning a tug of my forelock

 

My cock was ready to burst out of my trousers and I was going to leave the restaurant with a very awkward gait, which would give the appearance to the untrained eye of an old man walking.

The throbbing in my trousers was now accompanied by an ache dwelling deep in my balls.

We left the restaurant slightly less together than when we entered, I was still walking awkwardly, and Marilyn was walking extremely quickly but only from the knees down.

Her thighs were together, and her buttocks appeared clenched.

We said goodnight to the reception staff and once out of sight Georgie charged up the stairs taking them two steps at a time.

I went off after her in similar vein and caught up with her on the first-floor landing.

I pushed her up against the wall and kissed her,

Then I hitched up her dress and my hand went straight to her fluffy brown bush.

“I like your new habit of not wearing any drawers,” I said

“It saves me having to yank them down around your ankles”

“I knew you’d like it you dirty old man” she said wickedly

I pushed two fingers into her tight wet cunny and rubbed her clitoris with my thumb and she let out a long breathy sigh.

She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck and raised one leg off the ground.

There was the sound of voices below and in an instant she had extricated herself and was away up the stairs.

“You’ll have to catch me if you want more” she called over her shoulder.

The swelling in my trousers was not making movement any easier and Marilyn had a head start on me.

But on the next flight of stairs, she paused to remove her shoes and I managed to grab one of her stocking clad ankles.

 

 

Marilyn was giggling as she tried to wriggle free, but I wasn’t letting go and as she tried to scramble up the stairs on all fours I improved my hold on her by grabbing her about the waist with my left arm.

Meanwhile my right hand returned up her dress and fingered her pussy once more and she squealed with delight as I frigged her.

After a minute of this I yanked her dress up and exposed her round white buttocks, this gave me a great view of the object of my attention and I felt the sudden need to drink of her hot juice.

But as soon as my lips touched hers and before my tongue could taste her hot cunny juice she managed to wriggle away, and I could only watch on as she scampered up the stairs.

When she reached the top stair, she sat there triumphantly with the dress still rucked up around her middle.

“Come on then, birthday boy” she said taunting me by opening and closing her legs and as Marilyn spread her legs wide, I could see her juicy moist lips and then she slipped her finger down her crack.

Marilyn stood up holding her shoes in one hand and still fingering herself with the other, before she headed towards the bridal suite.

She was stood leaning against the door waiting for me and as I got close, she took the room key card from her stocking top and opened the door.

Giggling and squealing as she did so, inside the room she dropped her shoes and jumped onto the four-poster bed.

I rushed into the room and closed the door behind me and found Marilyn was kneeling on the bed with her back to me.

I kicked off my shoes and undid my trousers and by the time I reached the end of the bed I was naked except for my socks, which under normal circumstances I would have removed as well but my balls were fit to bust.

Marilyn was kneeling at the end of the bed with her arse on full display as she gripped on to the bedpost with both hands.

She giggled as I unzipped her dress and slipped it off her shoulders so my hands could play with her beautiful pert breasts.

“Aren’t you going to make the old man some hot chocolate?” I asked as I stood there my legs trembling

“Just fuck me,” she ordered “this is your birthday treat”

“Happy birthday to me” I said as my cock slipped effortlessly into her tight cunny.

Marilyn exhaled a low animal grunt as I went into her up to my balls.

My hands abandoned her tits and grasped onto her hips while she held, white knuckled, onto the bed post as she pushed down onto me as she grunted ever louder with each successive penetration.

With the length of stroke shortening her moans became more urgent, more guttural, and more animal.

Until Marilyn’s whole body went into spasm as she came with a sensual scream and my cock pulsed and twitched inside her.

Then we collapsed onto the bed where we lay in a panting heap

Until Marilyn wriggled herself out of her dress and went down on me,

“And many happy returns” I said

REFLECTED GLORY

 

She sits before the mirror
Head inclined
Fine brown hair falls off her shoulders
Cascading down one side
The evening sun shimmering on the fine strands
The lustrous skin of her shoulders and back,
Naked but for the slender straps of her dress
Silently invites my caress
Her heady perfume filled the room
Invading my senses like a fragrant garden after summer rain
The fabric of her dress hugs the wondrous contours I know so well
In the mirror her hazel eyes look back at me
As she sees me watching her
And knowing my thoughts her reflection smiles
And at its radiance my heart soars
Making me want her
I don’t ask why she loves me
I just thank god for her
For her elegant beauty
And for the greater beauty inside
This evening I must share her
But later she will be mine alone
So for now I bath in the reflected glory of her

Choice Tales from the Vale – (003) What Happened To You While I Was Away

Stephen was going to housesit at his parent’s place while they were away in the Canaries.

He had been working late and by the time he got to their house it was after eleven o’clock.

He was surprised to see there was still a light burning in the window, and there was a strange car parked on the kerb outside the house, he assumed the light was left on to deter burglars, but he couldn’t explain the car, not the kind of behaviour his father would have tolerated, he thought, as he parked his car on the drive and went inside not knowing who or what was inside.

But as he went in all was quiet, so he left his case in the hall and went into the kitchen and boiled the kettle.

When he had finished his drink, he made his way upstairs to his old room and as he opened the door and the light from the landing flooded into the room and he did a double take.

In the centre of the room was his bed which was exactly where he would have expected it to be, but that was not what surprised him.

What had got his attention, directly in front of him perfectly illuminated, was the most perfect round naked arse.

It was not an arse he was very familiar with, as far as he could recollect, it certainly wasn’t his mum’s or one of his sisters, it was far too compact.

But whoever the owner of it was she was laying in the foetal position on his bed with her back to him, partially covered by a duvet.

Stephen stepped backwards onto the landing and confirmed it was his bedroom and then went back in again.

He left the door open, so the cute arse remained illuminated and walked over to the bed, his first instinct was to give it a firm slap and wake up its owner and tell her to get out of his bed but instead he found himself putting his hand gently on one of her firm buttocks, which was cold to his touch, which he began to caress the cold fleshy cheek until it eventually began to warm, as did his ardour.

He caressed her around the full curve of her buttocks, slowly exploring every contour of its delicious shape until his fingers reached the radiant heat of her pussy.

The girl began to stir as his fingertips lightly traced around the wispy perimeter of her lips before his finger peeled her lips apart like opening a piece of ripe fruit and entered the creamy flesh inside.

She murmured coarsely in her sleep as he continued stroking her juicy cunny while his other hand steadied her hip as he frigged her until she gasped. 

“Ohhhh Stephen” she said, “What kept you?” and she grabbed his spare hand and pulled it up to her breast and squeezed his hand onto her tit as he continued frigging her and bringing her closer and closer to orgasm until she screamed out.

At least he knew the identity of the interloper, she was his younger sister Polly’s best friend Cassie.

As he undid his trousers, he reflected briefly on how life can sometimes surprise you.

Cassie had been running after him since she was twelve and he was in year ten, but she was a skinny freckly klutz and did nothing for him, well it appeared that she had grown up while he was away at university. 

As Stephen stood cock in hand Cassie wriggled her arse to the edge of the bed

“Mmmmm” Cassie exclaimed as he pushed his tip between her sticky lips.

“Mmmmm” she repeated as he followed through with the rest of him.

As he was making love to her, he stood looking down on her as she bit her lip and pulled at her hair and as he groped at her firm young breast, which was rising and falling with every insertion, he could feel her heart pounding in her chest.

Cassie was in a frenzy as she received what she had clearly desired all evening.

She was gripping the frame of the bed and grunting rhythmically with every nerve tingling stroke until she came so hard the bed shook and she juddered again as he finished in a pulsating ejaculation.

“Well, I think you must fancy me now” She said between pants.

“I guess so” Stephen replied

But just to be certain sure after half an hour they put it to the test once more and twice again the next morning.

IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

 

Her eyes of velvet hazel brown
Looked at me and then look down
Her nose twitched and she bit her lip
Then she composed herself and took a sip
She fought to suppress it for a while
Then her full lips broke into a smile
I stared at the curvaceousness in her gown
Then her brow furrowed into a frown
Under my gaze her lashes fluttered nervously
her eyebrows raised disapprovingly
as I looked at her figure shamelessly
Picturing her body naked before me
The skin of her cheeks flushed deep red
Then proudly she held up her head
She flicks the brunette strands of hair
Off her face as I stand and stare
I love the beautiful things in life
So what's wrong with ogling my own wife